If you could see me now..

Spring Break is officially over.
I'm so sad to see it go, mostly because I didn't really feel like I had a break at all.
Within minutes of my last post, my Nanny called to tell me how much pain she was in and I ended up going to her house that night. The next morning, she was admitted to the hospital for dehydration. I have been sitting with her at the hospital during the day since Thursday.
She's doing better now, and they're sending her home.
While I was there, I did a lot of thinking.
I'm not going to worry about working in the baby's room anymore until after I finish my internship.
I need to focus on getting all my documents in order for my portfolio check that is coming up in a few weeks.
It's not so much that I'm stressing myself out, but other people are stressing me out.
I know they mean well, but everybody and their mama asking me 203984923 billion questions about the baby is what I have pin pointed as my main source of stress right now.
Anyways, I'm just going to try to relax today because I'm sure the first week back to school after spring break is going to be very hectic.

Here is what I'm looking forward to:

April 29th - Last day of Internship
May 2nd - 4D Ultrasound
May 6th - Graduation


p.s. Thank you all so much for the kind words and advice you left for me on my last post!

Have I mentioned

I am absolutely exhausted....to the point where I think I could sleep for 3 days straight.
Since last Thursday, I have driven/ridden [is that a word?] literally 1,274 miles. And yes, I was geeky and actually added it up.

I also didn't get the job at the bank, even though I passed the teller test, and had an awkward phone interview. When I called to complain to my husband about it, he said 'you could always join the army'...........and in that moment, I couldn't help but wonder if he even 'knows' me.

Anyways, I hope my life gets back on track soon. I need stability....and sleep.

Please Pray

My Nanny is having knee replacement surgery tomorrow.

She has been complaining for a long time about her leg hurting, but her doctor kept telling her it was arthritis.

Finally, she got a second opinion, and it definitely wasn't arthritis. Basically, her knee cap is deteriorating. She was like, 'Jamie, You should see the drawing the doctor made me of my knee cap, it sure does look crazy.'

So, here we go. I've been praying pretty much every 5 minutes, and I have to remind myself not to cry when I'm in public.

I'm not so much worried about the actual surgery, I'm worried about the anesthesia. I've heard it really takes a toll on people with heart conditions, and well, it freaks me out.

If you believe in prayer, please say one for my Nanny tonight. I am trying my hardest to stay positive. I can't even begin to imagine what I might do if something goes wrong, so please keep your fingers crossed.

If only I could keep my head on straight

I feel like I've been running around here like a chicken with my head cut off for the past couple of weeks. It's really unnerving.

I don't really HAVE the time to be sitting here writing this, but I'm TAKING the time, because I absolutely need it to save myself from a mental break down.

I realized last night that Shedrick would be 23 today, and I wasn't quite sure if I should be happy, or sad.

But I made it a happy day. Because I can't stand to be sad. And we had a lot of good times.
We were what I like to call 'unconventional' friends. Because no one would have ever guessed that two people so UNlike would have gotten along as well as we did.


So Happy Birthday. We love and miss you very much. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't cross my mind.

Here's to all the memories and I hope to see you again one day ♥

Beyond Frustrated..

Aaron's platoon got a weekend pass for Saturday and Sunday, and were able to actually go off post for a while. Unfortunately four of his fellow soldiers were complete morons and thought that it was a good idea to drink in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, they got the cops called on them. Did I mention they're underage? Yea. AND they're still in training.

Instead of his sergeant punishing those four guys, the WHOLE platoon got punished.
No more weekend passes the rest of the time they are in training.
When Aaron told me this last night, I blew it off. No big deal, they only have a little more than two weeks left anyways.

Then he calls me today, and says he won't be able to call me the rest of the time that he is in Oklahoma AND he can't get online anymore, either.
Apparently his sergeant thought the punishment from the night before wasn't harsh enough, so he took away all electronics. [cell phones, computers, psp's, mp3 players...]

So, for the next 18 days, I do not get to talk to Aaron. I am just hoping and praying that his sergeant's heart softens over the next week, and that by the weekend he will be able to call, because this is seriously going to suck.

Please keep your fingers crossed for us!

Patience is a Virtue

On Monday I recieved a letter in the mail from the financial aid department at my school. They let me know that I did, indeed, receive a grant this year. That, I was happy about. I read on to find out that I am getting almost a thousand dollars less this year than I got last year, which really freaked me out. I instantly began stressing. I have so much on my plate already, it's hard even thinking about trying to come up with more money to pay for school. I've never taken out a loan before, and have done everything I had to in order to not incur debt while in college. Nanny offered to give me a monthly 'allowance' to help with the $1000 that I'd be missing from the grant. I hate asking her for money, but I didn't have to ask, she just offered. I couldn't really refuse at the time, I didn't know of any other offers. Until today. I got a letter in the mail from my school. I let out a huge sigh before I opened it, because I was sure it was going to be the bill for the tuition. BUT IT WASN'T. It was a letter offering me a scholarship from the art & design program. And guess for how much? That's right...$1000! Crazy, huh? But I am very blessed for this to come my way, and now I can stop stressing so much! Good things truly do come to those who wait :)

I spoke too soon...

My family has decided they would rather me have a whole ceremony now, rather than the whole court house thing; they are going to fund it [small budget, mind you]. And after much deliberation I have decided to do just that. We are going to have a full ceremony instead of just getting our marriage license. So, instead of being married on Dec. 3rd, we moved it to Dec. 12th. I am a little stressed, but am feeling much better now that I have the save the date cards made. And knowing that my sister is willing to help me any which way, is always a nice thing. So wish us luck, because we are definitely going to need it!