Not Mad

I recently started watching Mad Men.
I had heard good things about it, but had never seen it myself until it became available on Netflix streaming.
The first episode was hard to get into, but I figured one episode wasn't really giving it a chance, so I watched more.
Seven episodes in and I'm not really seeing what people have been raving about. I mean, sure, there's 1960's charm and a few good looking actors, but like my husband said, if it were set in present day, it would probably have flopped after the first season.
I'm going to continue watching because I'm not a quitter.
But please, please tell me that some of you watch this show & that it gets better?

WW::Sheer Boredom

come save me

No guts, No glory.

Warning::This may get a little too personal.......just stop now if you don't care.

As far back as I can remember there are very few memories that include my father. My parents divorced when I was two, my mother passed away when I was four, and after that, my dad never really felt the need to come around. Sure, he'd come for birthdays, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, pretty much anytime that involved him being invited for a feast, but other than that, the times that my sister and I saw him were few and far between. As a kid, this really bothered me. I would get really upset when he was supposed to come get us, or stop by, but he wouldn't show up. But, over the years, my heart hardened towards him.

So why am I bringing this up now?

Because for once I wanted to see the good in him. For once I wanted for him to prove me wrong. But he didn't. He couldn't. It's like he's incapable of being a normal decent father, even in his old age.

I was seriously considering asking him to walk me down the aisle at the wedding. I mean, isn't that the normal thing to do? But when I heard how he reacted to the good news, I cut him out completely.

Nanny said she saw him and told him I was getting married. His reply was 'So what?' Really, Is that how a father is supposed to react? I think not. Nanny apparently kept talking to him [I don't know why] and asked him if he wanted to help out a little bit [money wise], and he didn't just say no, but 'Hell no.' So, if anyone ever wonders why I can't stand my father, why I have 'Daddy Issues', or why the thought of father's day makes me want to puke, this is why. Because he never helped out, he never cared, and I just wish for ONCE in my life that he would put the bottle down and realize that he has wasted every single opportunity he's ever had to be a good person. Why can't he just be proud of us?

I actually had a dream a few nights ago, and I remember it vividly. I saw my dad at my brother's house, and he was drunk, as usual, and he said 'Hey baby, I miss ya' like he usually does when I see him, once in a blue moon. And then I let him have it. I told him every single time he ever upset me, every single thing I ever wanted to say to him, but never did, because SOMEHOW I still had a little bit of respect for him. And I brought him to pure tears, and it made me happy. For once. But it was all just a dream. And you have no idea how bad I wish I had the courage to do that.

Because I'm at work...

On a Saturday, and I'm incredibly bored....

1. Where was the very last place you went besides your house?

Work. Saturdays are incredibly slowwww for business.

2. What are you doing tonight?

Driving to Troy since I'm off tomorrow. Packing, Cleaning, and Relaxing.

3. Who last texted you?

My sister, I think.

4. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Yes.

5. Do you get mad easily?

I really do. Just this morning my aunt told me I needed to take anger management classes.

6. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?

It really depends on the situation.

7. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Warm!

8. Who was the last person you were in a car with?

Nanny.

9. What color are your eyes?

Brown.

10. Have you ever given up on someone but then went back to them later?

No. I never gave up, and he came back to me :)

11. Have you ever thrown your cell phone in anger?

YES! oops :)

12. Has anyone told you a secret lately that you aren’t allowed to tell anyone?

Probably, but you shouldn't tell me secrets and think I'm not going to tell either Matt or Cassie.

13. Honestly, if you could go back six months and change something, would you?

I don't think so.

14. Are you wearing any clothes that don’t belong to you?

Nah.

15. Do you have a lot on your mind at the moment?

I've been pushing it to the back, because every time I think about wedding planning, I start STRESSING out so bad!

16. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

The right side.

17. What is your favorite thing to shop for?

Clothes!

18. Who knows you better than you know yourself?

Matt.

19. What are you doing this summer?

Working...but other than that: going to see Paramore & No Doubt in concert, going to see Taking Back Sunday in concert, going to see Aaron graduate basic in Oklahoma, and HOPEFULLY a beach trip.

20. Do you miss your past?

I miss being a kid, when everything was so carefree and simple. But, other than that, no.

21. Did you ever have tea parties when you were younger?

YES! I had a barbie tea set and I LOVED it.

22. What is your favorite line from a movie?

"I love you so much it's retarded" - Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

AND

"You find a glimmer of happiness in this world, there's always someone who wants to destroy it."
-Finding Neverland

23. Would you rather be the opposite sex?

No thank you :)

24. What would you never name one of your children?

Jessica. No offense to you Jessica's out there. I just haven't had good experiences with them.

25. What is the coolest restaurant you’ve ever been to?

I don't know? Ha, Hard Rock in Chicago, maybe?

26. Where do you go when you want to get a really good sub sandwich?

SUBWAY! Duh...

27. What style of house would you like to live in?

Country Style with a wrap around porch :)

28. Do you flip the channel when commercials come on?

sometimes? usually not though.

29. Have you seen any of the Saw movies?

All of them.

30. What was your favorite book as a child?

I think it was called Katie John. I can't really remember. I just know I wanted to be her.

Stolen from my sister...

Here are the rules--mention the person that tagged you. Complete the lists of 8's. Tag 8 of your wonderful blogger friends. Go tell them you tagged them!

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:
1. Being done with school until next fall.
2. Getting letters from Aaron.
3. Going back to work.
4. Seeing Paramore, No Doubt, and Taking Back Sunday in concert.
5. Seeing Aaron.
6. Moving in to our new apartment...or uh...cottage.
7. Hopefully spending my birthday with my love.
8. Getting a new, good quality camera.

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1. Went to class.
2. Dropped Aaron's letters off at the post office.
3. Went grocery shopping.
4. Worked on my projects.
5. Watched a movie.
6. Cooked dinner.
7. Tried writing a paper.
8. Played online way too much.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1. See Aaron.
2. Sell all of my art work.
3. Have one day that was completely stress free.
4. Move away from this town.
5. Get married next year instead of two years from now.
6. Have a puppy of my own.
7. Buy a new car.
8. design/paint/draw something for someone famous.


8 Shows I Watch:

1. Real World/Road Rules Duel
2. Tough Love
3. That 70's show
4. Gossip Girl
5. The Office
6. My Name is Earl
7. Nip/Tuck
8. Property Virgins



And my 8 tags:
I'm not tagging anyone, just post if you'd like :)

let's talk about random

Some of you may be familiar with StumbleUpon, but in case you aren't, StumbleUpon is an online community that suggests websites for you based on your interests.


The reason I'm mentioning this is because I'm completely obsessed with it right now. Seriously, at times, when I should be sitting here writing lesson plans, or reading for class, I'm stumbling. And I have found some of THE coolest websites/pictures because of it. The best part is, you don't have to waste space trying to bookmark every single neat thing that you see, just press the 'I like it' button, and it saves to your favorites on your stumbleupon account.

I just wanted to share with you all a few things I've come across while stumbling:


http://lol.com.pk/2009/03/art-dont-miss-it/

http://www.jansch.freeserve.co.uk/life-size.htm

http://yoke.cc/handart2.htm


http://www.dirtycarart.com/gallery/index.htm

Check it out! It is a good way to 'waste time'...especially if you're bored.

Rachel Getting Married

For those of you who were thinking about renting 'Rachel Getting Married'....don't. It was seriously a disappointment. It was okay, at best, but there was no defined plot, and when it ended, I was just confused. I mean, if you want to waste time/money on it, feel free, and then let me know what you think :)