Thursday, November 13, 2008
my boyfriend of...forever, has finally decided to join the army. i am so torn about this. i am happy for him, because this seems to be something he really wants to do. of course i support him, because i love and respect him. but really, i'm being selfish. he informed me today that he'll be gone for AT LEAST 17 weeks. i've never been away from him for that long, and quite frankly don't know how i'm going to hold up. he keeps telling me that he's doing this for us, so that we'll have a good 'guaranteed' future, and i get that. its just really hard to think about right now. its not just hard to think about how i'm going to pretty much be alone the whole time, but the constant worry. its what i do best, and especially at a time like this. i've heard too many horror stories, and you better believe it scares me to imagine the love of my life in any compromising situation. *sigh* this is not something i ever thought would come into our lives, but i know that it is for the best. i will have to rely on my friends and family to keep me preoccupied so i don't fall into some deep depression.